John L's Virtual Dictionary

Installment 1:  Splammo

Have you been looking for just the right word to use should regular words ever fail you? I've got one that could be utilized as a simple substitute for the name of probably any object or concept, and it should be perfectly understandable in context and/or with the right inflection.

In 1988, the word splammo popped into my mind in a great moment of need, and it seemed to work. So, I've been using it and passing it along on occasion for some years now. For what it's worth, here it is with its own web page. Sooner or later I might find out it's the ultimate obscenity in some obscure language. But that's probably doubtful, as it just doesn't seem to be that kind of word. Actually, it sounds like the perfect Yooper nickname, eh?

So go ahead and make use of it. There are a few rules: Use it as is in the plural sense, as "splammos" just doesn't sound (or look) right. Also, keep it intact when compounding it. Here are some examples of proper usage:

  • "What is this splammo?"
  • "Man, that's good splammo."
  • "You're giving me a lot of splammo."
  • "It's SPLAMM-O-RIFIC!!"
  • "You surely are a splammohead."
  • "There appears to be some splammofication of the arteries."

Perhaps some day people will name their kids Splammo, one can send a splammogram, a bacteriologist will name his new bug Splammobacter, and you can pray to Saint Splammo every night. Till then, here's a caution: It probably would be best not to use it to answer questions on tests, tax forms and other such instruments of torture. Also, it probably wouldn't fly on Jeopardy. ("Who is Sir Edmund Splammo, Alex?") But give it a little time.

It's splammo time in the city!

Original page (created 10/8/97) is shown here,
rendered in glorious NCSA Mosaic 3.0beta4.

Page last modified on 5/16/06 at 12:15 PM, CDT.
John Lindquist, Department of Bacteriology,
University of Wisconsin – Madison